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» MoBy DiCk In HaIkU v2

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Mostly ueseless crap

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why i like you

who wants to be average
in this crazy mixed-up world
maybe that's why i like you


Posted 12.18.08|


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» Because I like grafitti




like hades but colder




Posted 12.14.08|


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» How to make your own Pruno just like dear old dad did in the slam back in the day.




data dumping around the house

the last thing you want to do around my house is ask my wife for directions or instructions. she happens to be one of those types who believes that no amount of information is too much -- the more the better, in fact.

on the surface this might sound like an admirable quality, but in reality it oftens leads to confusion and miscommunication. something simple like ordering a pizza over the phone can become alarmingly surreal, especially that part about where to make the delivery. it's a wonder the delivery guy ever finds the damn house. i keep insisting that explicit directions on where we live, which street the front door faces, the size, color and shape of our house are all pretty much unnecessary. the pizza place has our name, address, phone number and who knows what else stored in their computer, so giving them all that other stuff is pretty much a waste of time.

you would think.

i won't even bother going into the details about the cell phone swap my wife wanted to do with her mom. suffice to say it took two trips to the cell phone store and still the deal was not completed. my wife did learn some new cell phone service provider jargon from cell phone guy no. 1, which she used to great confusion on cell phone guy no. 2. the look of befuddlement on that guy's face was almost worth a useless trip to the store.

the other night she was on the phone with someone giving what sounded like instructions. i tried to tune out the conversation, but i couldn't help noticing that her end of it seemed to go on much longer than necessary. after she hung up, i casually said, "that was a classic example of TMI."

"what's that?" she said.

"too much information."

she laughed, but it was not one of those haha that was pretty funny kind of laughs. it was more like "haha lucky for you i'm not holding a knife" laughs. then, with uncharacteristic brevity , she added: "Fuck You."



Posted 12.04.08|


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the daisy chain conspiracy

Y'all are amazing. Thanks for participating!

Say what?

Gravatar chores are so boring
I'd rather be gambling now
won money beats earn'd


Gravatar won money beats earn'd
tragic I can't win for losin
my poker-face sobs



....Fun game!


Gravatar my poker-face sobs
it is the same old story
the beer is all gone


Gravatar the beer is all gone
and i just don't remember
not being thirsty


Gravatar not being thirsty
means there is more Jack Daniels
for a thirsty me


Gravatar for a thirsty me
your affection is a drug
that my skin swallows


Gravatar that my skin swallows
toxins of earth
I need water


Gravatar chores are so boring
that monkeys don't work,
tree sitting.


Gravatar i need water
cause the desert is dry
today.


Gravatar today
was a good day
- better than yesterday
.


Gravatar better than yesterday
Uncle Weird Bob a coming
swallowed his plane tix today


Gravatar swallowed his plane tix today
guess he was hungry
he has to walk now


Gravatar he has to walk now
one last time honey
did you fill the car?


Gravatar did you fill the car?
gun's in the glove compartment
poker debt to pay


Gravatar poker debt to pay
I live the dream of fools
blogging for nothing


Gravatar blogging for nothing
that is the way you do it
we could have some fun


Gravatar we could have some fun
that's what she said late last night
dead drunk, but still cute


Gravatar dead drunk, but still cute
enough to eat my supper off
licked lips and warm thighs


Gravatar licked lips and warm thighs
and loved it
while she moaned.


Gravatar .
while she moaned
I continued this renga
type exercise
.


Gravatar type exercise
it's all that i can manage
return muse. please.


Gravatar Return muse please
And then return mushy peas
We'll eat weird bacon


Gravatar we'll eat weird bacon
and complain about bloating
then blame it on Mad


Gravatar then blame it on mad
when we can't these damn poems
fuck it all to hell


Gravatar .
fuck it all to Hell
we just can't help ourselves
- this is too much fun
.


Gravatar This is too much fun
It probably is a crime
Catch me if you can


Gravatar Catch me if you can
as we streak across the sky
fleet-footed hussies


Gravatar fleet footed hussies
come to me in night time dreams
drift in and drift out


Gravatar .
drift in and drift out
deep sleep comes difficultly
- try counting backwards
.


Gravatar try counting backwards
the weeks since warm weather
curse the northeast


Gravatar curse the damn north east
those uncouth northerners
count me amongst them


Gravatar count me amongst them --
those males, that is, who think that
women make life fun


Gravatar women make life fun
except when they are whining
then life is a bitch

 


Posted 12.07.08|


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untitled

if this world were mine
i'd give you the sky above
would that be enough?



Posted 12.04.08|


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» I wish to say... postcards to Obama




just another floozy



According to the Typealyzer, I fall into the ESPF - Entertainers category, based on what I've written on my so-called blog. In other words, I'm "entertaining and friendly."

I'm especially attuned to pleasure and beauty, and I like to fill my surroundings with soft fabics, bright colors and sweet smells. (Ha, who doesn't.) I live in the moment and don't like to plan ahead. And I'm always at risk of exhausting myself.

Um, does this mean that if this blogging shit don't work out, I have a future as a cheap hooker?

» You can analyze your own blog -- or anyone else's for that matter -- here.


Posted 12.01.08|


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postmodern romantic



Posted 11.26.08|


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» convert text to speech

 



a daisy chain experiment

OK, here's the drill: First commenter, use the last line of this haiku for the first line of yours. Second commenter, use the last line of the first commenter's as the first line of yours. Et cetera. Got it? Don't be shy now.

whistle while you work
a gravedigger singing songs
chores are so boring


Posted 11.21.08|


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story of my life

wad of chewing gum
sticking to the floor
somehow winds up on my shoe


Posted 11.18.08|


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