MadHaiku

MadHaiku
I write the crap so you don't have to

About the author

Archive

• How I write this crap

• The worst haiku ever

• Moby-Dick in haiku

04.17.06-05.16.06

05.18.06-06.08.06

06.10.06-07.07.06

07.10.06-07.30.06

08.01.06-08.30.06

09.03.06-09.30.06

10.03.06-11.02.06

11.06.06-12.01.06

12.04.06-12.29.06

01.02.07-02.05.07

02.08.07-03.19.07

03.22.07-04.17.07

04.19.07-05.17.07

05.21.07-06.23.07

06.27.07-08.08.07

08.12.07-09.13.07

09.19.07-10.31.07

11.04.07-12.03.07

haiku poems reading writing bible zen MadHaiku god magnetic+haiku memes blogging harry+potter neil+young

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Coming soon

The fully illustrated version.

Posted 01.14.08|

• Funny graffiti

Dog-day afternoon

A dog crapped on my lawn.
Its owner did nothing.
I hope he dies.

Posted 01.11.08|

• How much is your blog worth? Mine's only worth about a hundred bucks, which seems way overpriced. Find your value here.

Our Lady of Guadalupe

Check out my new project. Click here

Posted 01.08.08|

Miss Lonelyhearts

Some advice to the lovelorn:
never date someone
you meet in a bar

Posted 01.05.08|

• Richard Misrach: On the Beach

Fortune cookie philosophy

Those who fear dying
worry about tomorrow
live for yesterday!

Posted 01.01.08|

• Lists: Everybody likes them. It's our attempt to organize the disorganized, bring order to disorder, unchaos the chaos. Plus, some of us have nothing better to do. Here's an online list maker called Remember the Milk.

i drink, therefore i am

'nother year passing
'nother round of auld lang syne
how am i still here?

GUNG HAY FAT CHOY, Y'ALL

Posted 12.28.07|

Best (or Worst) of MadHaiku Vol. 3

high on nectar

little hummingbird
flittering above my head
dude, i'm not a plant!

my name is jack bauer
i shoot people and blow shit up
i never have to pee!

The Subway

The subway train came to a stop.
The doors rattled open.
I got off.

True Confession Variation No. 1

I used to keep a blog.
One day I ran out of things to say.
So I quit.

MySpace for Dummies

I went to MySpace dot com
A profile attracted me
I clicked but nothing happened

Commenting

Leaving a comment
Is like tossing a coin
To the guy's monkey

not the pink meatlike substance

asshole sending spam
please find another victim
my in-box is full!

ode to cheapass beer (in two parts)

i like cheapass beer
the way it sloshes around
and makes my head spin

pour it in a glass
or drink it from the bottle
also great in cans!

neck wear

some guys wear bow ties
and don't it make you wanna
just punch out their lights?

a cowabunga christmas

christmas lights aglow
sleigh bells jingle merrily
fucket, i'm going surfin'

MELE KALIKIMAKA!

Posted 12.22.07|

thank you, neil young!

better to burn out
than to fade away
rock 'n' roll is here to stay

Posted 12.18.07|

• 13 reasons to say Holy Sh*t!!!

black rain

foul air and dead seas
the plentitude of nature
made waste by man's greed

Posted 12.14.07|

• Save a tree: 19 billion catalogs are mailed out to Americans each year. That's 53 million trees. If the catalogs you get go straight from the mailbox to the trash can, you can get them stopped. Go to Catalog Choice. It's free.

Harry Potter hai'ku'd

His name was Harry
a young wizard at Hogwarts
his wand was skinny!

Posted 12.10.07|