ring in the new

to tell you the truth
i like to do my drinking
at home. alone. in the dark.

Posted 12.29.06|

The Best (or Worst) of MadHaiku Vol. 1

20.

Some people call me a minimalist
I don't know what that means
Is it like that guy Marcel Marceau?

posted 04.25.05|

35.

wings of icarus
melting in the sizzling sun
white boy couldn't fly

posted 6.15.05|

42.

i like how you smell
your scent drifting in the wind
like propane on fire

posted 7.07.05|

Chapter VI

Starbuck is first mate
but unlike Ahab he's nice
his coffee is great!

posted 3.12.06|

The Bush Philosophy

The Constitution
is just a piece a paper
with some crap on it

Posted 5.16.06|

The Tao of Nothingness

Posted 6.17.06|

Happiness

what is happiness
but the absence of sadness
and some Jack Daniels

Posted 7.26.06|

For Howlin' Wolf

if blues was money
i'd be a big ass rich man
i'd be The Donald

Posted 8.01.06|

Seriously Paris Hilton

Posted 9.07.06|

bordello of verbs

i'm a comment whore
please pay me in wads of words
me love you long time!

Posted 10.11.06|

haiku for dummies (not you per se)

haiku is easy
one word after another
no rhyming needed!

Posted 11.16.06|

Happy Holidays or whatever

Posted 12.22.06|

a cowabunga christmas

christmas lights aglow
sleigh bells jingle merrily
fucket, i'm going surfin'

Posted 12.20.06|

cosmology or cosmotology?

to light the cosmos,
according to the master,
become the light bulb

Posted 12.18.06|

existential xmas

Frosty the Snowman
melts under a smiling sun
some dreams don't come true

Posted 12.14.06|

neck wear

some guys wear bow ties
and don't it make you wanna
just punch out their lights?

Posted 12.11.06|

proof of god's existence*

the goldfish wonders:
there must be a god, otherwise
who changes the water?

Posted 12.08.06|

*Totally gacked from the movie Juggernaut

weirdness: a 6 meme (in haiku)

I got tagged the other day by Lori at Celebrating the Absurd to do a meme on 6 weird things about myself. I thought about it long and hard and couldn't come up with a damn thing. I'm totally normal.

OK, so I didn't think about it all that long or hard, but trust me, I'm the most normal person I know. You might say I'm abnormally normal. To prove it, I dug deep into my Archive of Normalcy and came up with these:

my wife ran away
with my buddy down the street
I really miss him

im descended from
genghis khan. not really but
kiss my YeLLoW DNA anyway

I don't like birds all that much
they shit on your car; sometimes they shit on you
tweet tweet BANG BANG

I used to do drugs
I don't do them any longer
I forget why

I got an e-mail today
It said ENLARGE YOUR PENIS
But it didn't say how

I woke up this morning
And discovered the Meaning of Life
What, you expect me to tell YOU?

Posted 12.06.06|

yes, virginia, there is a fat guy

to the barricades
Santa Claus is under siege!
the War on Christmas

Posted 12.04.06|