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999,980
Things*
999,980.
When I was in the seventh grade I got straight A's, but I
was not what you would call a brainy kid.
999,979.
Since it was the first and last time I ever got a perfect
report card, I guess you could say it was an anomaly.
999,978.
The following year, in the eighth grade, I had an epiphany.
It occurred one night as I lay in bed, wondering why I was
working so hard trying to learn the shit dictated by The Man.
999,977.
The epiphany was this: School is for suckers.
999,976.
From that moment on, I spent more time trying to figure out
how to game the system than actually studying and learning
the shit dictated by The Man.
999,975.
One of the skills I acquired early on was how to get by with
a minimum of effort. This would prove to be more useful later
on in life than, say, being able to figure out the square
root of pi to the 10th decimal place.
999,974.
Naturally, this kind of attitude did not lead me to Harvard
or Stanford or any other school listed in the top 100. Or
in the top 1,000, for that matter.
999,973.
Another lesson I learned very early on was that if you were
a boy, being good in sports would make life a whole lot easier.
Which is not to say I was a jock. But I never got picked last.
999,972.
Not long after I had my epiphany, the entire eighth grade
was required to take a state test. As I sat there waiting
for the test to begin, I decided to get every answer wrong.
Just to see what would happen.
999,971.
I didn't guess at any of the questions -- I wanted to make
sure I got them ALL wrong. I wanted a perfect zero.
999,970.
It wasn't easy trying to get all the answers wrong -- it was
only slightly less difficult than trying to get them all right.
Still, I managed to finish the test first. I turned it in
and then waited to see what would happen.
999,969.
But nothing ever happened. I was never hauled into the principal's
office to explain, I was never asked to retake the test. No
mention of it was ever made.
999,968.
I was pretty disappointed.
999,967.
Despite my bad attitude about school, I did have a favorite
subject: English. Because I could string sentences together,
knew my way around punctuation and could spell with a fair
amount of accuracy, my English teachers always cut me some
slack.
999,966.
I was also something of a bookworm. I forget now when I became
something of a bookworm, probably around the fourth grade,
but I've been one ever since.
999,965.
I'm not a disciplined reader, though, not like Dara
who is studiously working her way through the the Modern
Library's list of the 100 best novels of the 20th century.
I admire people who can do that.
999,963.
I just finished reading "Wicked" which I bought
before I realized it had been turned into a musical. For the
life of me, I cannot visualize it on stage.
999,962.
I'm currently reading "Sputnik Sweetheart" by Haruki Murakami,
"Reporting" by David Remnick and the first PostSecret book
by the PostSecret guy.
Posted
9.03.06|
*Continued
from A Million Things
|
