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Drunken haiku vault

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The worst haiku ever

Moby-Dick in haiku

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04.17.06-05.16.06

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Haiku Rules

a haiku a day
can uplift your downcast thoughts
or not

There are about 30 pieces of haiku floating inside my head at any given moment. They rattle around like the coins in Judas' purse or whatever it was they put their money in back in the day. Thirty haiku means 90 lines. That's roughly 510 syllables, give or take. How many words is that? Who cares. The point is, 30 is a lot.

Some days I feel sorely tempted to post them all at once and be done with it. Clear my head, so to speak, for more important things, like learning how to do sudoku. The only thing stopping me is fear, the fear that nothing will replace that empty space inside my head. Too much empty space in the head is not a good thing.


Posted 8.30.06|

 


Can You Hear Me Now?

a cell phone ringing
woman yaks incessantly
stab her with your fork


Posted 8.27.06|

 


Downsizing the Solar System

poor little Pluto
orbiting alone in space
just another rock


Posted 8.25.06|

 

Save Pluto
Fuck Pluto

Blue Collar Beauty Pageant

you lookin' so fine
in your halter top & hot pants
missin' some front teeth


Posted 8.22.06|

 

Strange statues from around the world

It Takes an Idiot to Raze a Village

hey you little turd
the asshole that tagged my house
you misspelled a word


Posted 8.18.06|

 


Falling in Love

i fell in love once
it was not so bad
getting dumped was not so good


Posted 8.13.06|

 


The Democratic Party

them Dems are da bomb
come the mid-terms in November
watch 'em implode


Posted 8.10.06|

 

The upside of global warming: Beer!

54.

tennis shoes dangling
from a telephone wire
i know how that feels


Posted 8.07.06|

 

Space aliens: Their crop circles are getting more elaborate

(Possible Titles Are Endless)

if men are from mars
and women are from venus
where are dumbshits from


Posted 8.04.06|

 

Flickr mosaic: A cleverly designed message

The Bible Book I

In the beginning
God made man in his image...
Uh, you sure 'bout that?


Posted 8.02.06|

 


For Howlin' Wolf

if blues was money
i'd be a big ass rich man
i'd be The Donald


Posted 8.01.06|

 

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